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Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

A Fan Blowing Your Way aka My Biggest Fan

In Relationships on September 1, 2014 at 9:09 am

As usual, whilst I was wandering along, doing my own dastardly thing, what should hit, but the arrow of that little cherub.  I must be one sitting duck, for all the arrows that have pierced my heart.  And it must have been a disturbingly long and convoluted arrow that would find its mark again.  Does Cupid use me for target practice for his most unconventional arrows?  Perhaps the holes in my chest are so broad, and the skin over my heart so stretched, as to enable the easy access for another of his arrows that would have bounced off another, or that would have not had a smooth glide into the heart.  Ah well.

In any case, this is a religious year for me.  Perhaps it is time to reconsider religion in my life and the purpose it plays. But somehow, for all that I’ve experienced and seen, I find religion yet another form of living (or life theme!) to choose from.  We’re sporty, or we’re not, we’re foodies or we’re not … we’re religious or we’re not.  Yes? And upon deciding on a lifestyle, we stick to it, and abide by it in making all decisions, and that further entrenches us in the lifestyle we choose.

I say this because of what I’ve learnt from two years back – that there is not such thing as strange, it’s whether I have seen it before or not.  Out of 6 billion people in the world, there are 6 billion individual lives to lead, and a bulk of them are coerced along the same directions, by society – to make them easier to manage, to herd the flock in a predetermined direction.  We are human because we are given the ability to think beyond the herd, and break out on our own. But for every individual who wants to break out beyond the norm, there are also others who want to fit in within the norm. And this norm is determined by the culture we grow up in.  In any case, whatever exists in the world, no matter how individualistic, humans are herd creatures, and we often look for people who are in the same boat as us – from a similar lifestyle, to a similar preference.  It is indeed hard to find a truly individualistic person who needs not seek companionship and a meeting of minds, body and soul to make their journey on earth a little more pleasant.

And who am I to judge – given a short span of time on earth.  Who am I to judge my predecessors, and the future generations, what they may think and what they may do with their lives? We are each free to choose.  If you think about it, even murderers have a kinship with fellow murderers – there are so many of them, that we have jails for them  – a fraternity of like-minded individuals, as scary as it may sound.   Though few, who are the rest of us to judge against them?  Is the majority always right?  As witnessed in the burning of so-called witches who were gifted in healing arts back in the middle ages, the majority was often misled.

In any case, my biggest fan is turning into one whirlwind of a lifetime.  Time flies literally when we meet and talk and talking honestly is what I have to give to this person (and myself) now.  And at the same time discover (uncover) my pain, my forgiveness, my experiences, my happiness and my sorrows – all over again – from a new light – that of a wiser (I hope) person, 18 years later.  In sharing things I’ve never shared with another soul before, it cleanses me in a way.  It is really really nice (no better word for it) to be listened to and understood and un-judged, and simply loved.  In his arms I feel cherished, protected, and needed.  I feel that I can do no wrong, and I feel empowered and emboldened to be who I truly am.  Life’s tough as it is, and here is another individual who is mature enough to understand that, and to see the end of life for what it is, and our journey together as simply that – a journey.  From him I understand that love can grow, and that love can also wither, but all the more, how precious love is.

But as with every silver lining, there is a cloud, and within this cloud lies a storm brewing of murky proportions.  It’s sad when it hangs over our heads, and sadder when it rains.  But perhaps it will be better for it to rain and then blow away.  In the meantime, we huddle under its shadow and savour each precious second that we can before it pours.  It’s intense, it’s exciting, and it’s uncertain – which just serve to heighten its preciousness, and make us cherish it more.

I so wish that my biggest fan could also blow away this cloud, and that sunny days may surface. But it looks like we’re in for long gloomy days ahead.  Stay tuned for the weather report 🙂

 

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An-other 4 Things About You

In Relationships on February 5, 2014 at 2:48 pm

it’s been a while since I last posted – the usual – busy, lazy, tired stuff…haha.  But meeting my giant of a friend has spurred me to say all right, I’ll resume.  Coupled with the fact that this friend just admitted he was inspired to start meeting friends and learning more about them in the same manner I did two years ago, how does one not support this?  And so today my dear friends, our humble one friend a day blog will now have a grand total of TWO contributors!  haha!

I convinced contributor 2 to blog about his experiences here – why not make this blog more robust and more dynamic, with more stories and inspirations?

Contributor 2 is excited about learning 4 things about his old friends – things he never knew. So, if you get called up one day to answer 4 thing about yourself, check out this blog to see if your story’s here!

Indeed, the lives we lead are amazing and too often we fail to connect with each other to learn about each other’s stories.  I’ve realised in the last year that I do have plenty of stories to share and it is these stories that connect me with people. Stories for love, stories for business, stories for sobbing, stories for celebrating.  After all, if we live a life without any stories, would that be called life?

I always enjoy a good chat with this old buddy and he’s one of those that have stuck by me all these years – through the growing pains, the working stress, to me buying my first property even – he was there. Someone who has always been around for me to call on for a late night supper and an energising chat.  And it is this energy that we so crave for that gives us added energy to face the next day.

So over supper in the neighbourhood suburbs, and on a cold windy night out on a spanking new bike with chilly legs, i made a commitment to start writing again and here I am.  I look forward to the 4 stories my old friend has to share – and he has to share them before he forgets them (getting old, haha)!

Mr Contributor 2, over to you!

Do the Charleston

In Relationships on January 5, 2014 at 2:48 pm

This post should be posted post Feb as I dithered about restarting my postings on this blog, but I’m gonna post it as my first post for the year as I contribute another 52 articles on 52 people for this year.  This will be the first post because it is also about the most significant person I have met over the new year, and also fitting because he may be the overarching story that may rule over the rest.

This new friend was not exactly new, saying that he had noticed me about 8 months back at another gathering, but never approached me.  Well, the universe has its way of putting people together when the time is ripe I guess. Back then I would have been caught up with other people and possibly wouldn’t have noticed Charleston doing his dance, but towards the end of the year, things had changed yet again and we could start a fresh dance, with gusto 🙂

And gusto we did start it with!  Not from the very beginning as we soft footed around each other, not sure of where to tread, and as all dances begin – a little tentatively, and a little wary of the other.  But once the rehearsals were over, bam!  on the floor we went, and waltzed through the night we did.  Time stood still and the music played for just two.

From clandestine meetings in the dark to late night/early mornings jaunts and visits to a strange tree, the universe sang its cheerful melody and buzzed with unleashed energy.  Here was the Charleston being performed frenetically and in perfect sync.  Each night when the music ended, it was two souls that parted refreshed, soothed, and emboldened to face the challenges of the following day.  The experience … always amazing, amazingly so.

As with all parades and balls, the music slows and the dancers need a break.  We caught ours a week later, after hours of being drawn towards each other, no matter how long the day had been.  The gravity was intimidating, and the company intoxicating.  The reality of the world began to set in – the ballroom started to light up, signalling the end of a magical ball.  The choice was ours to keep the dances alive, and yet be practical to know that the masquerade had ended its short stint.  Do we now uncover what goes under the masks and can we continue the dances like before?  Can we exit this ball gracefully with no incidents?

We spent a week apart and through that week, the music kept chiming – an underlying hum that refused to stagnate.  The messages were fast and furious and the questions patiently and truthfully addressed…all this while the humming continued. The underlying buzz of unfulfilled energy.

When the Charleston returned, the beat had changed, but the notes were still there, hanging unsung, waiting to be played and danced to.  And dance we did.  What could we do?  Our hearts kept to the beat, our feet kept moving.  The songs were slower, but they were the same notes tinged with an overture of reality, and an undertone of uncertainty.  They were sadder now, but no less enervating.  The music had found an outlet that was more manageable.

As we hurtle through the rest of the dances, we are not sure when the ball will end.  Or will it ever.  In the ballroom, alone with each other, the dances are all we live for.  Outside, away from the warmth of the chandeliers, and the soft glow of the candles, is the cold truth of the lives we lead.

In the meantime, we can only dance…

Charlie’s Angel

In Relationships on December 30, 2013 at 2:36 pm

Having a good buzz at a rooftop party is one thing.  But having to mitigate a violent drunk and his girlfriend, and coercing him to back down was not a Christmas eve I was looking for.  After a very tiring and exhausting year, I was coveting a more eve more traditional, egg nogged filled, carol singing and perhaps even some not too exciting gift exchange.

How my CA driver’s license ended in Angel’s care, must be blamed on my ah beng friend who kept saying, or repeating incessantly, that I needed to be more open and mingle.  Almost in a fit of raging spike, I summoned my alleged A-game and started mingling, talking to, moving around and prancing on every opportunity to speak to all the ladies.  Without any real conviction, and armed with beer courage, I pulled no stops.  15 mins on, Mr Beng said he was surprised that what I did was completely out of the character mould he had put me in.

Angel, while being in my turbo charged impenetrable Mario persona, was quite unexpectedly a super pleasant meet.  Cliched, but there was a certain connection I detected and thought we had shared.  But violent drunk guy didn’t allow me to explore that….

It would be another 2 days before I got to meet this lovely Angel.  And with a lame, weak and yes, I thought it was pathetic offer of a ‘reward’ for the return of driver’s license, I was happy to meet Angel again.  There were no sparks, no fireworks, no cosmic shift but in place, clever wit and an amazing collection of shared ideas and values.

In the matter of hours, we had gone past the small talk of work, family to similar business experiences, a database of personal shared values in everything and even finishing each other’s sentences.  The night could not have been shorter and despite a dying urge to want to go back to watch a missed football game, the pleasure of the current company was just too good to pass.

It was another 48 hrs before Angel’s presence I could enjoy.  Again, conversations were filled with random topics.  We spoke of fairly mundane topics but I found nothing that was said trivial and was delighting in the moment and company.  I learnt a lot from her and wondered if I might have shared something that might have been even mildly interesting.  The fact that we ate supper and continued talking until the threat of dawn forced our eventual retirement, methinks, might have been a good sign!!!!

Maybe Angel was just being cordial and nice and even polite.  Whatever it was, I gladly took it.  Even if I never have another encounter like this again with her, I would be grateful for a wonderful Christmas.

But my gut tells me that a meaningful relationship is growing. One I would enjoy for quite some time.

In the meantime, she would definitely make my angel’s list.  Only in this case, this Townsend agency would only have one Angel.

What the new year brings is certainly looking bright….   that is of course if Angel doesn’t get arrested and incarcerated!!! :DD

Dim Sum

In Relationships on March 14, 2013 at 9:03 am

La Sialle

In Relationships on March 7, 2013 at 8:51 am

In Wonderland

In Relationships on March 6, 2013 at 9:09 am

My wonderful Wonderland friend has recently created a new wonderland for herself.

I got to know this sharp minded and confident lady as colleagues.  Firstly as wary colleagues (she admitted that she didn’t take too kindly to me initially because she associated me with the manager who had brought me into the company and by her own admission, the manager was a good-for-nothing), but over time, I stood my own and proved myself worthy of her respect and trust and we ended up being closer than most colleagues, with Friday tea sessions at the nearby kaya toast place,  and purpose planned lunch dates. I actually missed having lunch with her if I was too busy and I was going out for the entire week meeting others!  So we planned lunches where we could get the dreariness of work out of our system, and to form a closer team bond.

After work, we were friends and after the two years in that company, we kept in touch as…amazingly…party friends!  By then, this then pregnant, then mother-of-two colleague of mine had gone from demure mum to party queen!  Following her foray into the world of real estate investment and working with a slew of successful investing types, she found her current world too cloistering and her husband too (for want of a better word) boring.

I played go-between for a while as she contemplated a divorce and her husband hung on to me as the only other friend he knew and whose number he had.  He called me incessantly until one day I had to tell him that it was her choice and by then I was also feeling that he had it coming to him if he was unable to man up and stop moaning about his plight.  I did try to advise this colleague of mine to stay together with her hubby, as he was her chosen man all those years ago, but strong-willed and headstrong as she is, she proceeded with the divorce eventually.  They still stay under the same roof, from what I know. I thought that was a strange arrangement, but I guess they found middle ground and have kept their family as intact as possible for the sake of the two young children.

It’s been a while since we last caught up and writing this posts further reinforces the thought that I should meet up with her soon to find out what other stories she has for me.

Han-ny I Shrunk The Kids!

In Relationships, Resolutions on February 12, 2013 at 6:18 pm

I gave him a challenge of 12 people to meet by June since he had said he would call up people to talk to them. Let’s see if this comedic, yet serious friend of mine manages it! Serious about peace and spreading fellowship, I had the pleasure of having dinner with Han this Monday evening. A pleasant guy, he shuns politics and twists conversations to fulfill his objectives…however I still cannot figure out what objectives he has in mind. A pleasant dinner, but this cryptic friend did not give me a sense that he had indeed opened up and shared with me his heart. This makes him a pleasant companion, albeit a shallow one for me.

When I first met him, I thought he was a little strange because I was curious about him and asked him several questions. All of a sudden, he asked me if I was looking for a husband because I was asking him all those questions! That shut me up. And urged me to put a distance between us. I was asking generic questions and making conversation, but I think he does not like answering questions about himself, preferring to take the conversation in his hands instead.

Let’s see what stories we will have…perhaps by the end of the year, we will share a few more experiences and I may eventually feel that I know him better.

Soh Be It

In Relationships on January 29, 2013 at 9:10 am

The curse of the pretty face.  This friend’s prettiness has led her down some dark paths with the opposite sex, I surmise. Though the details are never really shared with me, I sense an underlying sense of loneliness and feeling taken advantage of emanating from this friend.

Being a pretty lady with a pleasant personality, and a ready smile, she is the object of many men’s attentions.  However, from going out with staunch vegetarians to quiet doctors and eclectic pilots, I wonder if this friend of mine is unable to find a better lot?  And these are the guys who are interested in her.  I guess she must have also been slightly interested in them to go out with them, but this story is yet to unfold in its entirety.  I would love to sit with her to share her stories, but that day has yet to come.

Chew What?

In Relationships on January 23, 2013 at 3:18 pm

One of my older friends, we got to meet up this year as a group. The previous years had given my friend a girlfriend, a husband, two children and now she is settled in and ready to socialise with us again.

This is one of those lives who I like writing about – it just goes to show how quirky life can be – and you know what? No matter how quirky yours gets and through all the ups and downs, your friends will always support you no matter what.

This particular friend has has an interesting journey in her relationships I find. Tall, slim and pretty, she somehow didn’t have many boyfriends throughout her tertiary years.  After school, she hooked up with an old senior and became her girlfriend – and one day she candidly (and a little worriedly) told me that she had turned lesbian – and she sounded like she found it unbelievable.  But she had the confidence and knew that she was loved and cherished by her family and her friends, which gave her the courage to say it out loud.  Not that she proclaimed her relationship and flaunted it, but just having the courage to understand and accept things as they were and face it – that was courageous.

This friend brings to mind the many hours of hanging out we did, and how I was always entranced by her boldness and her confidence, even though she was also insecure.  She was funny and real.  Her parents had brought her and her sisters up with no pretensions and she was about as bare-faced a friend one could hope for.  She gave her opinions truthfully and made her comments with no malice. This is why she was respected, and fun to be with.

Fast forward several years, same friend decides that she wanted to have children. She found herself a boyfriend from within her colleagues and shortly thereafter, got married to him. She now has a daughter.  The twists that life’s journey takes us is indeed captivating.  And the true stories I hear are often more dramatic that the movies…and they are so enthralling.

May the stories never end!