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Archive for November, 2012|Monthly archive page

The Socialite

In Relationships on November 9, 2012 at 9:00 am

Every year, as we age, I ask myself why we maintain certain friendships. And then I realise that it is human nature that does not allow us to give up on another human being. It is in our nature to remember the better days, to forgive a person’s faults and to look forward to better or good things to come.

In the same way, I renew my friendship with this lady friend of mine. We’ve gingerly sidestepped each other and have not treaded on any toes yet, and frankly, after a certain age, we have come to accept each other’s foibles and for want of a better phrase, we couldn’t care less what the other person does, or says anymore. Call it getting old, or call it ego, life is after all, about our personal happiness, isn’t it?

After all, what is our life worth living for if not for ourselves? Even when we say we are living it for another, it is ultimately our ego we aim to please, in giving it a “higher purpose” and a sense of superiority when we profess our concern for another friend and aim to give of our time, and of ourself to that person.

Through the socialite, I learn to spend time with the people I care about, and to seriously not sweat the small stuff. To take each gift of friendship, and each invitation with a pleasant smile and a generosity of heart, to not question the other’s motives, and to simply enjoy the company of another person for company’s sake.

 

Chang Chern

In Entrepreneurship on November 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Chang Chern is a friend I got to know a few years ago. We hit it off, with his bunch of J friends (not J pop, but nonetheless good looking and outgoing, and full of talent…). We hit it off, for whatever reasons, and have remained more than acquaintances, I must say. There are some people in life who you just get along with and form a kindred feeling with?

Aloe Vera

In Entrepreneurship on November 5, 2012 at 9:02 pm

It is strange how life goes up and down, and the balance is constantly swinging in favour and disfavor on us in our lives. When I met her I was on the receiving end, and now, I find that I am giving back (and more than happy to do so) for all the months that I had received a decent salary from her mother, which gave me the chance to start out on my own about 6 years back.

This young lady has grown from a young teenager when I first knew her, into a self-sufficient, independent and resourceful lady. What seems to be a spoilt teenager with no cares for money, I have discovered is actually a young girl who has earned her own keep and her own self-sufficiency.

Sassy and a smart talker, she is sweet, as she is sharp. It is hard not to be endeared by her.

She impresses me for someone so young, for her vitality, can-do attitude, her initiative and the amount of responsibility she has taken upon her tiny shoulders. Although the daughter, she provides for, looks after, chides and supports her mother, her auntie, her brother and a little dog! I wonder where she has the energy to both study, work so hard and earn so much. But she has a knack for reading people, that I am ashamed to admit, supersedes mine. She is more realistic in reading the capabilities of people and their characters.

Through her I learn the strength of a woman, the non compromise of selecting good people around us and to make things work no matter how tough…because we have to survive.

An-swer Me!

In Relationships on November 5, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Durians, long winded conversations, undying curiosity…hallmarks of our friendship. This friend of mine irritates, yet is insidious in my life. For whatever reason, we have remained friends for a good 12 years by now.

I can never get a straight answer from this friend and it sure as hell irritates me!  Yet I appreciate the diversity of human nature and laugh at the complexities that bond a friendship together.

Together we are argumentative, yet eloquent, curious and insightful, yet, we don’t often see eye to eye. Do we hang out for the change to explore another view, or do we make use of each other to air our thoughts and try to make sense of the world each day as we live?  I believe it is a little of both.  Life would beso boring if all our friends we just like us, now wouldn’t it?

So it is the interesting parts of our characters, the quirks that make us different that at the same time make it memorable and yet ‘irrinoying’ to our friends.  Viva la friendship!

Everything G

In Relationships on November 5, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Everything G and everything finance. My long term partner has been a stalwart dinner companion. Despite busy schedules and social lives, we know that what we have is a special bond and both of us are unwilling to age a day in each other’s sight. I know I can be truthful with financial stuff with him here, and I know I will not be judged. The beauty of having one worthy friend to count on!

Sometimes I wonder why we have kept in touch all these years, through the ups and downs. And realize that is it because one party makes the effort to do so when the other is down, that our friendship has remained steadfast.

G always knows the right things to say and to make me feel better about myself, and about the mistakes I have made. Most notable is one simple sentence he made when I was going through a terribly painful and clueless-me breakup. He said that if my boyfriend made me feel that way, then it was a hundred percent his fault and not mine, that I reacted the way I did. Wow. That is support. But so true as well, because as I have learnt over the years, that we often react in anger against some slight we feel, perceived or real. In the first place, if the person made me feel that way, there is already something unbalanced in our relationship. Even if it takes two hands to clap, just like branding, it is a matter of perception, and of managing that perception. If someone really bothers about you and cherishes you, they would take pains to manage that perception.

This draws back to what one of my girlfriends of many years shared with us once (at the airport as I recall, when we were flying off for our yearly trip and there was this new guy in her life whom she would eventually marry). She said that her new boyfriend did not for once, make her query his whereabouts and his intentions. He always kept her fully up to date, and invited her along for their gatherings and she always had a choice. Looking back, it was wise words that we would all do better for if we heeded them…and found the person who truly manages our expectations and bothers to.

Baby Doll

In Relationships on November 5, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Baby, this friend, has everything in life, except a happy marriage. ’twas happy when it started, but Lo and behold, what cruel twists fate deals us. Her life has shown me that we really do not know what each part of our life will bring. And to also consider my feelings when I see someone more successful, richer, or more happy than I, there is no need to be jealous, for we never know what their life will be like 10 years down the road. It just reminds me how transient life is and to celebrate each joy, each sorrow with the people we care most for.