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Archive for July, 2012|Monthly archive page

Pikky

In Entrepreneurship on July 31, 2012 at 8:26 pm

I think some guys are afraid of committing to dinner. Mr Pikky kept insisting that we meet for a quick drink as he had work to catch up on. We ended up having a long drink and a decent dinner, and Pikky insisted that we meet again soon. Clearly he enjoyed my company, which is good to know. I really wonder about the people these guys meet, because every single one of them is so surprised that someone like me would want to meet a perfect stranger for dinner. I think I should pretend to be a girl and ask other ladies out jut to see what they look like!

Mr Strong

In Relationships on July 31, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Mr Strong, is a new friend I met. The relationship started out through a string of emails, which impressed me its their length, thought, and eloquence. That, and the fact that this person found me on my work email. And! Sent me a bouquet of flowers! Impressive. For a start.

The first pre-date, as he liked to call it, happened on a Sunday, a few days we were scheduled to meet proper. We just both happened to be free that evening, and it went interestingly well. Mr Strong brought me to beach road, then to Rivervale, then Sengkang, then home. We got along, well enough, and the evening went by pleasantly enough.

Thereafter, Mr Strong decided that he wanted to see me again and again…and he couldn’t wait till our next date on Wednesday. The next few days were fun enough exchanging emails and smses. And so happened, my tues dinner was cancelled (oh I have to write about this is a separate blog on my business!) and we managed to have a quick dinner on Tues, and again on Wed. What I found about the next two dinners was that Mr Strong seemed to have become Mr ‘in my own world’. What had previously been an attentive guy listening to me and having a decent conversation had become a guy who was only interested in his own statements and not having in depth discussions like we had had on Sunday. And interesting too, he sent me home both times immediately after the dinners. I would have expected him to want to hang out a little more, go for coffee, or something, but he didn’t broach the subject.

In any case, the meshes continued over the net few week intermittently, and finally Mr Strong is able to meet me again on a Friday. This is 3 weeks after our last dinner. Two Fridays before, Mr Strong had gone out on a date with someone he had not met before, and he was a little hesitant of telling me, and when he did, he asked whether I would be upset. I was like, for what? As far as I was concerned, he could go out with anyone he pleased and neither he nor I had a hold on each other. On Saturday morning of that Friday date with the other lady, I texted Mr Strong, how did the date go? He replied that it went well. And that they had ‘just parted’. Very interesting! A whole night together on a first date?

A few days later we had an sms conversation on that Friday date, and I wondered to Mr Strong why would a girl who was meeting a guy for the first time, spend the whole night out with a guy. And similarly for Mr Strong, why would he hang out with someone the whole night and not think he might be leading her on? I mentioned in my get that it rather ‘high school like’ to spend the whole night out in this manner, and apparently, he took offense with my comment which he said was “in your face”. And judgmental. I said, no, it was not, it was just a comment, but if he took it negatively, then it was his prerogative. And seconds, if he didn’t like people making these kind of comments or judgement statements, then don’t do it in the first place! Strange character right?

So anyway, we finally went on date four on Friday, on the way to the cafe, he tried to hold my hand, and I didn’t like it. He kept saying stuff like he had fallen for me, and he needed to know if I felt the same way, and when I told him it was too soon to tell, and that we had only gone out on three other dates, he went “only three? I thought we have gone out like 7 or 8 times already!” immediately the alarm bells started ringing in my head. A colleague mentioned that he sounded like he could not keep track of the girls he was going out with!

I told Mr Strong that I was feeling cornered. And I didn’t like him pushing me like this. He also kept saying that he didn’t like my comments which he found acerb, but because he liked me, and if we were going to make things work, then it’s a matter of compromise. I told him that was not the way things worked. If at this early juncture he was already getting irritated by my comments, it is not compromise, it is forcing it. I think he was just infatuated with the idea of us being together.

Anyway, even at that dinner, things were falling apart. I was my chatty self, telling him what was going on on my side of the world, and he suddenly went “you talk too fast! I can’t keep up!” with the action of swatting flies around his head. And so I stopped talking, waiting for him to clear his head. But he never asked me again what I had been saying. So end of conversation for me. Clearly he wasn’t interested in my stories or me, and if so I won’t even bother speaking. Anyway, the dinner ended just as quickly as the other two and I was home by 9 on a Friday night (we met around 730…really short dinner!)

That’s the end if that!

EgoMARniaC

In Entrepreneurship, Relationships, Resolutions on July 14, 2012 at 8:30 am

An acquaintance who I had met before…this guy smells of EGO from a hundred metres away!

Interesting how we hooked up and he insisted on giving me a call ‘to see if u could hold a conversation’ and whether I was ‘cool’ enough to meet for dinner.

Fair enough.

But I felt the next part was a little strange and he asked me to send a photo of myself to him, I said din my profile already have one. He mentioned that he was very slim and he would like his dates to be on the slim side (no fudging there!). So I said I would go better and send him a video (because I did not have a photo of myself on the phone! Haha). I sent him the link to my website which has me on video.

In return, he sends me two photos of himself with two female friends, which I thought was really strange.

In any case, Mr Ego texts me the next day, saying he saw the video. So I replied that since he replied, he prob thinks we can be friends. He clarifies ‘just friends right?’. What a put off!

Anyway, he was too lazy to text and do we spoke briefly on the phone. He goes on saying they he runs a headhunting firm and that he will be able to tell very quickly about a person. How presumptuous. Anyway, I wasn’t going to change his mind because I already knew he had a big ego, and I wasn’t going to waste my energy on deaf ears.

Then he goes around justifying that he was happy at 42, with a few successful businesses, and that if he could not find someone he thought was good enough, then he would not even bother.

While I agree with him that we judge people from the way they carry themselves, and the way they look, in relationships, these tend to be a little different. In order to appreciate a person, and get to know if they are worth developing a relationship with, as long as the person is someone we like, it would be prudent to continue to develop a friendship with that person, no? Or maybe it’s just me speaking from a girl’s perspective. I guess hunters decide on their prey before they hunt. But in this case, I cant help but think this hunter is not hungry enough, and he can continue to be picky, and hopefully not starve in the end.

The Editor

In Relationships on July 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

After 4 years of not having seen each other, meeting who I’d call my “favourite editor”, was a breath of fresh air. It’s strange what time does to us, and how we change in viewing the world around us, in the span of time that our paths diverge.

I’ve known the Editor since we were all of sweet 18, 19. I’m glad we’ve managed to stay in touch all these years. We were not fantastically close, as I was to some of my other friends in that period of life, but after we graduated and started work, Ed and I started to see each other more often. In part, I think I played a minor, unjudgemental support role of sorts when he was going through a stormy part of growing up.

Ed shared with me his predilections and I learnt to temper my words, and I think I cherish my friends from way back most because they’ve seen my at my most undiplomatic, my most tactless, and yet, we have spent enough time together for them to accept this flaw as part of me, and still value my friendship beyond my imperfections. I will never forget what I blurted out over lunch that day at Spageddies at Robertson Quay, and how Ed looked hurt, yet had this look of counsel in his eyes. I think the most assuring thing about our friendship was he didn’t walk away!

And I know that every time we meet, we have changed, and Ed will see me a little differently, yet accept me. There was once we met at Siglap centre, and I was in a short black jacket and jeans and Ed went “I didn’t know my sis was so cool.”, and most recently, I put on ‘height’ when we met for dinner and he went “you still look the same, but why are you so tall now”. It made me feel a little silly (this whole masquerade of dressing up like the adults, and being all prim and proper just flew out the window, with a comment like that from a childhood friend), but at the same time, accepted.

Dinner proceeded as usual, and somehow, we did fine. We’re at the age where we discover who we truly are, and appreciate our talents and our skills, and we realise that we are different, yet not so different from everyone out there, and find a path that is going to be the rest of our lives. And we also discover why we have remained in contact all these years (no matter how irregular) and that meeting up with old friends is refreshing for the way we click, the way we connect and communicate. We’re also at that age that we are able to be honest with ourselves and with each other on the “what ifs” and “if onlys” in the preceding years that have frittered away.

I will always remember Ed for his Apple computers (Ed, remember how you lugged that old chunky machine from my car to yours in the Centrepoint level 6 carpark), for holding my hand along Cuppage and reassuring both of us of our roles in this world, and how life may turn out, of being open with the ups and downs in his life, for agreeing to meet me after all these years, and for accepting me for taller or short, for cooler or not, and for listening to me and taking my suggestions and for giving me new insights in life. I think we meet our friends to inspire us, to give us the strength to welcome another day, and to weather the many more years that would come.

Ed, if you read this, I will unreservedly say that I love you and I cherish you, so don’t be a stranger. Redeem your SMS in a few year’s time ya!