ankysim

Archive for June, 2012|Monthly archive page

Trenty Extra Ordinary Human

In Relationships on June 30, 2012 at 1:19 am

This is an interesting post because the story goes much deeper than our initial meet up. And, skeletons are starting to appear a month after a whirlwind week of drinks, angry birds and work screw ups. The week we met was too rife with unplanned happenings and, I don’t know if it was a good thing or not, but it just went by too fast! Was it only a week? My god!

Monday dinner, Tuesday home, Wednesday drinks (after a drastic, unhappy Morton’s session with colleagues and vendors… Drastic because I had just received some work news that was saddening and you know, sad news and great martinis…recipe for disaster!), Thursday Lomo kino movie night, Friday screw up recovery night. I still can’t believe we actually met up almost every single night. It felt like a month at least!

I guess for some, the week’s happenings might have taken a month to happen, resolve and move on. But it had to all happen and resolve in the same week for me, because I was going on this long cruise by end May. I guess I have never felt it more than I do now, because I think I always have stuff happening which I resolve quickly, but even in this instance, I wish that it had taken a little more time to all happen, but then again, I guess when crisis strikes, if the team is ready to handle, we are doing okay?

Anyway, there I was enroute to the cruise, and we meet for a goodbye lunch on Tues. It felt crap to have to go on this long vacation when everything seemed to be happening at once. I feel now, that the cruise was a waste of time, I din gain from any experience on it, spent a lot of money, saw a lot of sights which I have to go back to see again anyway, because we were rushing through them all, and basically spent an unfulfilling three weeks at sea lah!

But things happen the way they do, and, when I returned, Trent’s life had turned complicated, I was not privy to it, I was feeling dejected, and exactly one month on, it seems I have lived another lifetime! I don’t know if I need a break from life or what. But hey, there I was having a most stable existence for the last 6 months, and all of a sudden when I end up meeting some new people to add a bit of variety to life, all these had to happen. People really do complicate matters huh?

So now, here I am picking up the pieces of the cruise, happenings at work, and of Trent’s skeletons, and life moves on … to equilibrium once again. Part of me is curious on the serial’s continuation, part of me wants to move on.  I met a guy whom I connected with.  We enjoy each others’ company a lot. There is definitely more than chemistry. We both feel that we have known each other for a long time, and are both quite similar in our lifestyle choices, but it seems that there are too many unresolved issues to carry on for now.  And the practical, experienced (cynical) part of me tells me to leave it at that for now, and continue on my way. Maybe it is time to listen to the practical part. But you know how it is, we will still save a little of our gut and our heart for that magic to happen, and I guess it is this l’il bright spark of hope, or of curiosity that will always make us leave a gap in the door, and not shut out the people who have stirred those emotions of a life beyond the self.

Joan of the Ark

In Relationships on June 19, 2012 at 8:45 am

Joan of this ark I am thinking of is the boat of cruising escapades. We met briefly at breakfast in the hotel we were staying at and over the next three seas became fast friends. Traversing age, geographical boundaries and even occupations, we managed to hit if off despite the odds and learnt so much about each other and the different lives we lead over the course of three weeks on a cruise.

Through J, I have a deeper appreciation of meaningful relationships, and of life in general, I realise that we truly are not so different as human beings across continents, and how life can be if I should so choose it. J currently enjoys her days spent with her friends across states. She moves around to meet them and renew ties, she focuses on those she loves and fills her days with the love she receives back from them.

She still explores and travels to appreciate the world and the vast experiences it has to offer, yet remains centered around what is the most important for her. Life is after all, about choices and every choice we make is a commitment to see through, in order for life to have meaning. If we do not remain steadfast in our convictions, we will not form the roots that will blossom and grow into a welcome shade or respite for our older days.

The Warrior

In Relationships, Resolutions on June 16, 2012 at 5:16 pm

The warrior is a new friend I met on a cruise recently.  Big, bold, totally New York, she was happy doing her own thing. She’d gone on the cruise on her own and had then been “adopted” by another family, and hung around with the cruising group.  Most of the time, she would do her own thing, and she didn’t share much about herself except when prompted, and then, she would say the most (to me) amazing revelations of a different type of life, which we do not see back home. Her candidness and her openness about herself, her body and her life was refreshing and I appreciated that about her.  There she was telling us perfect strangers that she’d had her stomach stapled. I wondered whether it was because she was non-Asian, that made her so open about herself. It was just a different upbringing and in the land of freedom, anyone can  really do what they please. It is their life after all.

It got me thinking about what we were like back home in conservative, face saving Asia.  Our lives are not our own. Neither are our thoughts, our demeanours and attitudes. They are all formed from a collective mindset and a cultural education that is so deep that we do not even realise it.

I remember a trip in HK some time back, and my Russian friend was with me.  He asked me to get a boob job. I immediately laughed it off and he said, why not? I said, it was too embarrassing and what would my friends think? He went, “Who cares that they think?” it got me thinking that he does have a point after all, in big bad Moscow where everyman fends for himself, where the world is really so big, that we do have to do our own thing. And I thought about being Singaporean and being so afraid of what others think.

I think it’s an Asian thing, but also very much a Singaporean thing. Here, we can’t go two steps without meeting someone we know. So much for living our own life.  In the bigger countries, I guess it is possible to have several identities across several states in one lifetime. Not so in Singapore, or is it just that we do not dare to try?

The Happy Bunny

In Relationships on June 7, 2012 at 8:50 am

My worst nightmare ever on a cruise!